What to do When Someone Oversteps My Boundaries

Boundaries can be hard to set in the first place. Having someone who knows your boundaries overstep them after having a talk about them is even more difficult. Making sure to reset these boundaries or move on is a must. That way you are still able to live life on your terms.

Resetting Boundaries

If someone close to you has overstepped the boundaries you set with them the first line of action is attempting to reset these boundaries. Starting off the way you originally set boundaries with them may make them feel a little less like they need to be on the offensive side. This will help you to have a real and more open conversation with them.

The first thing you should do for the good of yourself and others is to talk internally about what happened. Acknowledge who overstepped your boundary, what boundary it was, and how it was overstepped.

By laying all of these things out in your mind you are able to assess the situation better. This can also give you an upper hand when moving into the conversation stage.

Just as when you are setting boundaries in the first place be sure to be direct and assertive. Being direct about what boundary their overstepped is key in getting that boundary back in place. If you beat around the bush then the individual you are talking to may not explicitly know what they did wrong. If they don’t know then how are they supposed to fix it?

Looking at the Relationship

If you were unable to have a productive talk with the individual who overstepped your boundary then you may find yourself looking deep into the relationship. If the individual seemed to not take your boundaries seriously in the first place then you may have already been to this spot.

In your everyday relationships, you want mutual respect, which is the basis of a healthy relationship. Mutual respect means that you respect their boundaries and they respect yours as well. If this is not happening both ways then maybe this is not a good relationship for you to have.

As sad as it can be sometimes in life you have to let people go. Look at this individual’s history with you. Have they always disregarded your boundaries? Or was it just this one? It is ultimately up to you what happens but if it was just this once it is okay to give them another chance. This does not mean you are being weak in any way.

If it has only been one time and you decide to cut them out of your life then that is okay too. It all has to do with your personal limits which no one else should have an influence on, once again you are creating healthy boundaries for yourself.

No matter what you choose to do in the end it is always good to start by looking at the situation as a whole. This way you can see if it was an accident, on purpose, because of something else, etc. This can then help you move to the next stage of talking with them and figuring out if you want to reset your boundaries or let that person go from your life.

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